Staying Single, am I fooling myself? Part-I

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I never understood the magnitude of being single, is it a happy state of me or am I just fooling myself. People around me keeps on asking about my status. And I just ignore their questions with a smile or some joke. But what’s the reality?

It was a beautiful evening, light air was breezing around making it more romantic. The moment when the day was about to meet with his partner – the Night. I was crossing by the Air Force medical college, walking slowly feeling that moment of love and the soothing breeze. She crossed me like a cyclone, dressed in a light parrot green Salwar with a white apron. She must be a medical college student or might be a doctor. The first look of her made me crazy, I started walking behind her. We walked few steps behind each other before she disappeared in the evening but left the sign that I can see her again around this place. The night was hardly bearable but was one of the best nights I can ever have. Remembering her first glance I was blushing and smiling inside. I couldn’t sleep that night waiting for the Sun to kiss the earth. After completing the daily routine, I was in office in half sleep-mode. Sitting on my desk, listening my favorite romantic songs of 90s I was waiting for the clock to hit 4. Finally the long day in office ended, instead of going to home I went to AFMC and posted myself below a tree in the opposite lane. Every second was making me nervous, thousand thoughts were flushing by. If she will be here again, was she real or just my imagination, so on and so forth.

At 6 she appeared walking out from the college gate, I was again walking but besides her in the opposite lane. The time was beyond imagination, the Queen was walking besides the King. A few steps covered and she again got disappeared inside the Girls hostel. Now I know her two place, the college and the hostel. This parallel WALK kept on for a few days until the evening she crossed the road, came to me and firing her first question “Hey, who are you and why are you following me every evening?” I hardly could understand her question. The King got mesmerized in the beautiful eyes of his Queen. The voice was a more melodious then those 90’s songs. She shouted again “Have you gone mad, why are you not replying. And stop staring at me.”

“No, No you are misunderstanding me. One of my friend is there in your college and I was waiting for her.” I spoke out. “Seriously, you are waiting for her a week and she didn’t came out even ones. Am I fool or what?”, she responded back. “Now tell me the truth what’s going on inside your mind and who are you?”, she continued.

“Hey, I am Ali. Software engineer by profession. I saw you last Friday and lost in your beauty. Coming here everyday just to see you ones. Sorry for all this.” My honest confession made her face little easy. I kept on expressing, “I am single and my mom wants me to have a innocent daughter-in-law and I am just trying to fulfill her wish.”

“Stop flirting now, we hardly know each other”, she uttered. “I am following you for these many days to know you, to know more and more” I responded quickly. “So what you know about me”, the back fire. With a kid like face I replied,”you study here and stay in the girls hostel, that’s all”. She was smiling, “LOL, you know nothing about me”. “Will you allow me to know more about you, can I sip a coffee with you”, I asked her. “Not now, its too late. Let’s meet tomorrow and mind that don’t come stand here at 4 but come at 6. Now go and do your work”, she replied back.

It was a happy time, I was on cloud 9. Rejoicing and bouncing in air. “You are my work and I am doing that. I quickly said and started walking away. After moving a few steps I turned back to see her, she was walking slowly to her hostel. I was shouting inside, ‘Turn Back’, ‘Turn Back’, and she did turned back before getting inside her hostel.

It was the golden evening, the King dressed in Black was at her college gate at 05:45 PM awaiting for her Queen to come out. Sharp at 05:58 PM I saw her walking on the lane towards her college gate, dressed in light pink she was appearing the most beautiful women god ever created. She took 20-25 steps to reach the gate and another 10 to cross the road. At 06, she was besides me. “Hello Mr Khan, so where are we going?”.

“Miss… aaahhhh… ” I didn’t asked her name last evening. “Ha Ha Ha, Khan Sahab you didn’t asked my name” she said. “By the way, I am Rashmi Tripathi, I am from Dehradun and I am not a student here but a resident Doctor”, she said with a cheerful smile.

“Okay Doctor Rashmi, let’s walk to CCD in Fatima Nagar. It will not be very far from Hostel so you won’t be late” I replied in a hurry. Rest all we talked from that evening till another 30 days is just beyond words to express and very much private to narrate. The king was in love with the Queen, so he decided to propose her for life. Like every evening he was below the tree but now with a bunch of red roses. She came out and quickly asked, “why these flowers? Are you going to any party after this?”.

The King went to his knees, “will you allow me stare you through out your life, walking besides you holding your hands?”. “What? What’s all this?”, she said. “I Love You Doctor Rashmi”, the King replied extending those Roses to the Queen. She took them and said “Get up and let’s walk. I need to talk more on this”. I was on my legs now, walking with her. She started, “Ali, I am still not settle. Need to complete this phase with success. I don’t want to get into any kind of commitment now. We can be just good friends. That’s it”.

“But then why were with me for these many days. Responding me back in same capacity. Replying to my flirts and romance with the same gravity?” the Sad king said to her Queen. “Ali, I like you. I like you very much but I am not ready for it. Try to understand. Please”.

“Oh yeah, I should. From Khan Sahab I became Ali for you. I could read that change. But I couldn’t stay like this. I have fallen for you and want to flow till the end holding you tighter and stronger”. I replied. “Ali, we can be friends, best friends”, she responded quickly. “No Doctor Rashmi, that would be difficult for me. I can’t hold back myself. Better I get out of you and start living my old life”, I replied. I hold her hand, stare her for the last time and capturing all those moments inside me, moved my feet to the back journey. I started walking back for the last time to never come back.

The final text, the King left for her Queen. – Doctor Rashmi, I love you coz I love you. I don’t need reasons to love you. I love you in all situations and weather. My love can’t change with climate. I love you coz I wanna grow old with you. I love you coz I wanna die in your arms staring my beautiful Queen. I am going far away, disappearing in the darkness, leaving you to complete wish. Prayers for the beautiful Queen. Khan Sahab.

Prayers

rest-in-peace-photos-22The pain of losing the loved ones in front of our own eyes is beyond expression and imagination. In recent, the Nation lost so many of beloved lives of those great Army personnel on the border who died protecting our lives, innocent citizens standing in queue to exchange their hard earned money and people traveling to their destination in Indore-Pune express accident. So many of the dreams came to its end, death won over life, sorrow killed happiness and they all left their loved ones in pain, deep suffering and in endless tears.

Who will take the responsibility to answer such deaths, it’s not the failure of the system but it’s our very own failure, it’s our COLLECTIVE failure. We can’t ignore such deaths, we will have to stand up, look back and see what all is not right. The so called system is not accountable and runs behind judicial enquiry every time we met such a horrifying incident. Moreover, such enquiries never fix the accountability and never identify the real guilty. We will have to take efforts and make them answerable and accountable. Politics will definitely play its own game but we as a nation is suffering with it, we will have to stop our leaders playing over the deaths of our own fellow citizens. Every life in this Nation is precious, and they hold the rights to live happily with complete safety. Such unnatural deaths can never be justified in any way, and even a single death because of such unwanted incident must be answered. Let’s awake, arise and walk for them.

The Nation mourns for such citizens who suffered, and in great grief pray to the almighty for the ultimate rest for them who lost their lives and courage and strength for their loved ones.

Water Crisis : India 2016

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10 States, 256 Districts covering almost 33 crore of population is impacted by this year drought like conditions. Out of 91 big reservoirs of the country only 23% of water is left for use. Maharashtra is heavily impacted with this, the 17 big reservoirs has only 14% water and the situations in Marathwara is even worst, only 3% of water is left in the water bodies. There is a big hue and cry in the rural portion of these parts, animals have started moving towards villages in the search of water to rescue their lives. Villagers are job less, they don’t have water for irrigation, so even after having big plots of land they can’t harvest anything so to have their livelihood and to run their families they are moving toward the cities and working as laborers.

The irony is that those who were so kind to wild life and nature, yes the villagers are now killing the animals who are roaming around their villages. We can’t point fingers on them since they are trying to protect the lives of their people from any danger. And the animals have no potion but to inhabit the villages because the forests are completely dry. Nature is showing us the mirror, we are harvesting what we have sowed in last many years.

Anyways, now being a conscious citizen of the country what we can do? Listing a few small steps through which we can contribute to improve and support our people in this crisis.

  1. Save Water by whatever means you can.
  2. Turn off the tap when you brush your teeth – this can save 6 liters of water per minute.
  3. Take a shorter shower. Shower can use anything between 6 and 45 liters per minute. Or best use a bucket of water to bath.
  4. Fix a dripping tap. A dripping tap can waste 15 liters of water a day, or 5,500 liters of water a year.
  5. Use bucket full water to clean your cars.
  6. Don’t use the toilet as an ashtray or wastebasket – Every time you flush a cigarette butt, facial tissue or other small bit of trash, five to seven gallons of water is wasted.
  7. Fill a mug with a few inches of warm water. This will rinse your razor just as well as running water, with far less waste of water.
  8. Always use full loads in your washing machine and dishwasher – this cut out unnecessary washes in between.
  9. Do not use running water to thaw meat or other frozen foods. Defrost food overnight in the refrigerator or by using the defrost setting on your microwave.
  10. Never install a water-to-air heat pump or air-conditioning system. Air-to-air models are just as efficient and do not waste water.
  11. Ask your maids to use water judiciously.
  12. Water your garden with a watering can rather than a hosepipe. A hosepipe uses 1,000 liters of water an hour. Mulching your plants (with bark chippings, heavy compost or straw) and watering in the early morning and late afternoon will reduce evaporation and also save water.
  13.  Check out that all taps are properly closed while stepping out from home.
  14. Ask your maids to use water judiciously.
  15. Educate yourself, your friends, and your family about water.  Urge your politicians to support water conservation and anti-pollution measures. Water tainting industries are well-entrenched, but you can vote with your wallet.  Spread the word.

Hope, we all will contribute in saving water for our people. #SaveWater #HelpIndia

Third GENDER

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It was hot summer afternoon, Mumbai was almost boiling as the day was growing old. I was on the Western line, Vile Parle railway station. Mumbai is linked up with local trains, called as the life line of the city and actually it is. Even during this hour of the day, the platform was packed with people, waiting for their locals. But boarding a local train is always a fearful event for me, I start getting in a confused and uncomfortable state as the crowd increases and the heart beat starts pumping as soon as the sound of the local touches my ear drums.

The local train to CST arrived, somehow I was inside in one of the coaches, probably it was the crowd who pushed me in and effortlessly I was in. And by the time I could analyse this we already had crossed the station and running towards the next station. In that heavily packed coach my eyes glued to a girl dressed in Blue linen salwar, very fair in color, beautiful attracting eyes and with long hairs. She had that charm that I couldn’t dropped my eyes from her. Soon I realized that she is not a girl but actually a third gender, but I’ll still call her a girl only because of her getup. She was in the middle of the crowd, asking money from the passengers. In India, this third generation feels that they are not the part of the main stream, they are mistakes and they have to survive by their own. No one should question them how they are doing this? And actually we don’t hold the rights to ask them this because we never cared for them.

Now she was to me, very close. I could see her eyes with such a distance that I can feel the depth in them. She had a huge untold story, she was desperate to share her feelings, her life to someone outsider. Yes, we the so called two genders are outsiders for them. She spoke up “Babuji, Money”. I had a 20 Rs note in my folded hand, I brought my hand up, opened it and asked her to pick it up. But she refused to pick it up and asked me to put that in her hand. I asked the reason for this, and she made me speechless by saying that “the one who gives is always superior and should keep his hands up, I am the receiver so I should not pick it but actually you should give it me”. I complimented her in English, “you are amazing, you left an unforgettable impression on me”. She reverted back in the same language “Babuji, you are kind”. I asked her if we can sit together for a while and talk a little, with no more time she agreed.

We both dropped down at CST, started walking on the platform and I asked her if she wants to eat something. She replied, “lets munch some Wadapav”. So we started looking for a Wadapav counter. Soon we had wadapavs in our hands and we were sitting on railways bench, eating them. While munching the pav, I asked her about her life. She replied “Babuji, we don’t have much to do, our lives are very simple.We even can’t work.” Why? I asked her. “People don’t treat us well, they feel we are not normal, moreover they treat us as sex materials”, she replied.

She continued, “Babuji, why you people treat us indifferent, are we not normal? Who has created us, the one who created you all, then how are we different from you guys? We have everything same except a little of our body. We have the same feelings like you all have.” She was very clear and loud with her words and I was speechless. What she was talking was a big question for everyone of us. I allowed her to speak and get out from her anger, “We also feel to be loved, we also feel to have families, we also feel to sleep in our mother’s lap, we also feel to see our siblings, we also feel for the respect and grace which you all have, we also have a biting heart, a soul and a mind, then how are we indifferent from you all?” No answers to her questions.

Something was killing from inside, I was feeling the trauma she had captured inside for years. I wanted to hug her and say her loud that yes, she deserves everything. She was into tears, but she didn’t stopped, “Babuji, I am from a big joint family, I have mom, dad, one elder brother, one younger sister, three cousins, uncle, aunt, grand parents, every relation we can talk about but I don’t have anyone in my life. Till I was into my teen age I was staying happily with my big family just like any other child. But as I stepped into my adulthood and body structure started changing I was being treated as a burden by my family. First they tried to hide me from the society then when they failed they started cursing me that why not I died while birth only”.

“One day they took the final decision, called Shabnam Khala and asked her to take me with her. I still remember the day, I was crying and shouting madly. I didn’t wanted to leave my family and come here. Till my teenage I had been the princess of my family. My Mom was crying and was in a great pain and she was chanting, Ya Allah, took her to you. I know she loves me like any other Mother in this world, she can only feel my pain but the society has made her helpless. Nothing was in her control. I know most of my family feels my absence around them but no one is strong enough to stand up for me and my rights. They all fear for the society, the relatives and so many other things. Their fear overtook their love for me.The adulthood changes in my body made me a curse from a princess. The world feel its a curse to be a third gender. And I am here”. Now she was into tears, weeping. I too had tears in my eyes, with so many questions whose answers are to be searched.I can feel that pain she had undergone through these many years.Life had not been kind to her.

I tried to console her but I was knowing this that even by doing this I am not fair enough. I am part of the so called society who disrespect them and treat them like sex slaves.

She didn’t stopped here, perhaps she wanted to cut her heart into pieces and put in-front of me. “Babuji, I used to cry here, I wanted to go back home but Khala used to tell me that I am an orphan now, no one is alive in my family. I have to live this life only, the sooner I’ll accept this the early I’ll be out of all the pain and sufferings.” She paused a little (probably was re-thinking to narrate the next incident which she was about to).

“Babuji, it was a horrific night, I was out of Borivali local station, It must be around 12:30 AM, I was travelling to CST. You know, we live our life like this by asking money from you all guys. There were two boys, into their 20s, they followed me. I got their signal so I started running away from them, they too started running towards me, finally they were able to caught me, they forcefully took me to a near abandoned house and raped me. I was crying in pain, two boys were on me, treating me like a toy and this 18 year old girl who was in great pain was giving them pleasure”. While narrating this she didn’t had tears in her eyes, but anger for everyone in the world. Her face had turned red and eyes grew bigger.

“After they had their fun, they left me their and moved on. I somehow managed to stand, and came back to my place. I narrated the story to Khala, and we went to the nearby police station to file a complaint but the police refused to file a FIR saying it must be me only who would have provoked those guys or I must have taken money for this from them and now trying to create a scene. We returned back empty handed. This is how your society treat us.”

“For you all are we are just a body, we are painless and emotionless. After that incident I came across so many others but now I even don’t feel the pain. I am dead now, I am just carrying a dead body with me. Even my soul have died, just waiting for the day when god will be kind enough to take me to him. Babuji, the pain on my soul will never end. It will die with me when my body will be buried. Sometimes my brother comes to me to see me, he cries every time but I don’t. My younger sister got married last month, he asked me to join them or at least just come and see her. But I preferred to stay away, just sent her a dress and some sweets. I don’t want to see that home again which I left years back. I am into my own world, a world of all dead people, carrying the burden of their souls.”

“Babuji, thank you for being kind to me, I should go now.” I could only say out to her was “take care, keep my card and if you need something please call me. I’ll be happy to receive your call”. She took my card, put it to her violet purse, touched my cheeks, spread a never forgettable smile and went into the crowd and soon disappeared. But she left so many unanswered questions for me or probably for all of us.

Are this third gender not a part of us? Are they really indifferent then us? Who have created them, perhaps the one who created us? Are they painless or emotionless? Can’t they have the right the live the life which they want or they should live the one which we impose on them? Can’t they be a part a of the main stream and be with their families? Why they need to live a pity life? Why they need to be treated as tool of joy and fun?

Looking for the answer of few of these questions, if you have the answer please do share with the world around.The world needs to change their eyes to see the real human in this third gender.

I didn’t told you the name of that amazing third gender, she was Zubaida. I don’t know if ever I’ll get a call from her and will ever see her again but no doubt I’ll wait.

I Love You but with Conditions

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Oh! I just forgot, we are into the modern world, we call ourselves as the most civilized generation of all time. We have learned so much, we know all the tricks, all measurements and probably everything. We are very conscious too, we keep on checking if our next step is going to harm or its going to have a positive impact or what will be its effectiveness, so on and so forth.

But I am still the one who is weak in being perfect, the non-civilized guy, the backward one, old fashioned, who is more emotional and less rational, who is kiddish and impractical and yes, very immature.

There is a difference between our Love.

I love you because I love you, I don’t need any other reason to love you. For me, you are my perfect match, you are my soul-mate, you are my life-line, you are my heart beat and you are just mine. And when I loved you like this, why should I bother about your time, I feel your time is mine too. Why should I feel about your space, I feel your space is mine too. Why should I bother about your likes and dis-likes because what you dis-like, I hate it and what you like, I just love it. So why you need your own time and space? I would die to see you using even my time and space. But you don’t want to and you won’t do it ever.

You also love me, you are mad for me, you do everything to make me feel happy. But since you are into this modern world, you are cultured and civilized. You understand privacy, individuality, personal space and time. You tried endlessly to make me understand these concepts and every time I failed to understand the same. I failed since I treat we two as two bodies but one soul, and when I count we two, it always gives me a sum of 1 + 1 = 1, so why one entity need two different space and two different times. You never tried me explaining this and you even never tried to understand my logic.

So no doubt, you love me like anything but that love is with conditions applied.

Naari tu Shakti hai

Naari tu Shakti hai, Women you are power. It gives me happiness to write something for the half population of the globe. And doing this is not doing good or great but it’s a respect for the shadow which so many women have overcast on me.

I was waiting for my train to Mumbai at Hazrat Nizamuddin Railway station (Delhi), my eyes went into something and got stuck there. There was a very old woman probably in her 80s, she was in a white cotton salwar with her head covered. She was walking down, with sweats on her forehead, at first look she doesn’t appeared good to me. So I decided to follow her, I saw her filling water in a bottle and then walk over to a young guy in his 30s. The guy was sitting on a bench and the lady brought her some water and he started drinking. I didn’t liked this and went behind to listen their conversation more clearly. Like my attitude as always, I asked the guy “Don’t you feel bad that you are sitting here and this old woman is serving you water?” He turned back and with his most innocent voice and expression voiced out me “I can’t walk so my grand mother brought water for me. We are waiting for our train for Lucknow”.

I felt bad for being so arrogant and to rectify that I sat besides him and started my conversation, I came to know about a family who lost quite many things in some unfortunate accident. The guy told me that when he was 18 years old, he was travelling from Delhi to Kanpur in their car and they met an accident on the national highway in which he lost his parents. And this guy lost his one leg and the other got heavily injured. Without support he can’t walk properly for long. And its 14 years when his grand mother was taking every care of him. When he was narrating this, he had tears in his eyes. I turned back to the lady, she had a beautiful smile on her old face.

When the conversation was going on, we heard an announcement “Train to Lucknow will be arriving on platform no 2”. The old lady got up, he helped his boy to stand up and slowly started walking towards their coach with guy almost over her shoulder. They crossed my line of sight, leaving me speechless.

The old woman left, leaving behind a smile and a strong mark on my heart and mind. She was a symbol of power, love, sacrifice, tolerance and patience : for so many years she was taking care of her helpless child without any complaint or regret.  In that age when we can’t think of walking alone, she was doing it for two people. Taking care of the daily stuff his child, food, clothes, water, everything. I was amazed, from where does she collect all that power and strength.

This is the mark of women’s footsteps in this masculine world of ours. But we don’t care for their emotions, their feelings and their needs. We never try to sacrifice a bit for their happiness, which they always do. We never try to compromise a little for their comfort, which they always do. We never to share our stuffs with them, which they always do. Their nights go sleepless for us, which we never do. Their days passes on working for us, which we never do. Rather, we are biting them, insulting them, killing them, looting their respect, torturing them and doing all insane with them.

But its the time, to give them their deserved love, care, respect and happiness. We need not to be pity on them but to give them their share of life.

Happy Women’s Day to every women in this world.

Infinite Love

At times Pune’s traffic is breath taking, I was already late, if it would have been a delay of an extra 5 minutes I would have missed my train. After eight months I was travelling to my home, my family was eagerly waiting for me and then it was EID so the timing was more perfect for a celebration. Somehow, I managed to caught my train, Azad Hind Express, I checked in to my air-conditioned compartment, B4. Side lower was my place for the journey, I love that seat since it has a wider view of outside, so I can enjoy the nature while passing through five Indian states.

The other two lower seats were occupied by a very cute looking couple, they would be in their 80s, and they were Punjabi. Uncle Ji had a vibrant blue turban and Aunty Ji was in very attracting yellow patiyala Salwar (I know these dress names and kind because of my three sisters :-P). I arranged my luggage below my seat, they have already done that since they were on time, not late like me. I settled down and sipped some water from the bottle served by railways, Rail Neer. The train has already started and crossed half of Pune when I noticed it.

“My boy, what’s your name?” this is how Uncle Ji started the conversation. I replied Ali, and very quick I got a compliment strong and helpful Ali (Remembering Hazrat Ali). With a smile I replied back with a thanks. The next question was Aunty Ji “Where are you travelling dear?”. Jamshedpur, I replied. Like this the conversation started and finally concluded when I dropped down at Jamshedpur. By this time we were knowing quite many things about each other.

I came to know quite many things about the couple, they have a long association of 66 years, they got married when Uncle Ji was of 20 and Aunty Ji was just 18 years old. Now Uncle Ji was 86 but still young and dynamic and Aunty Ji was 84 years old young lady with at most charm and grace. Being a parent of 3 children (two sons and one daughter), and grand-parents of 6, the couple was so attracting that you can’t loose the sight, watching them talking, taking care of each other, helping each other in small little things.

They both were in continuous conversation with me, telling me about their family, their struggles and every possible thing about them. I could smell the strong bond they share, the relationship they hold, their level of understanding for each other, the respect they hold for each other and the love. Yes, the infinite love.

I was amazed seeing that couple, who still holds the same passion for each other after spending 66 years together, anyone could easily the love in their eyes. When we can’t tolerate our fellow for few days, we can’t share our stuff with others, they did it for 66 years and with all pleasure and happiness. I am sure, their love for each other will grow more as they will grow more older.

Love is not a five minute affair, it’s something more meaningful and very deep. It includes every possible thing, be it understanding, or respect for each other’s thoughts and opinions, or each other’s likes and dis-likes,  the care, the support, the feeling of being together, love has no boundary, its endless and infinite.